Aaah, Facebook! Aaah!

I was going to say that thing about how, when you get on it, you are suddenly back in contact with all the people you used to know, and haven't spoken to in years. But then I realized that everyone has heard that a dozen times by now.

So instead, I will just say, I think the whole thing is just another flash in the pan, like MySpace. And it will probably die soon, and be replaced by the next social networking fad website.

Of course, it hits closer to the mark than MySpace, because it gathers more info. So it has that creepy, uncanny-valley effect, where you do a double take, and curse, and say, "how did THEY know I know that person?!"

Unfortunately, it's bloated with crap features, while the most important functions take too long, and waste your time. Typical internet crap. Click click click.

I have a vision, people. A world in which the internet does all the useful things for us that it does today. But instead of taking up our time, it just performs the essential service, and then gets out of the way! So we can spend more quality non-internet time. Reading books, working, exercising. Catching butterflies, collecting stamps.

We need a social networking website that's run like a public service. No more bullshit. Just the parts that matter. Make it look like Craigslist.

Hey, come to think of it, if Craigslist started a social networking website, I would TOTALLY join.

Oh my GOD, I might finally get out of this damnable divorce settlement!

I will be officially holding my breath until two things happen:

- an attorney tells me that the new drafted agreement is basially as I understand it to be
- I sign and mail it to the plaintiff's lawyer, who then files it with the Marion Cty superior court

And then I'll finally be on the road to freedom!

Sorry, I still need to be cryptic until it actually happens. Cannot divulge details.

Oi. Why does work have to be so hard?

If you want me to do something hard, that I haven't done before, why can't you just spend lots of time with me, and help me out, and hold my hand the entire time? I would be really grateful.

No? Well, crap.

Urg. Aren't "responsible" people supposed to _want_ to work hard? Why don't I seem to want to do this? Am I not responsible?

Well, I'd better give it another try. If I'm too unproductive, I'll start getting that guilty, nervous, twitchy feeling. No good.

Apologies for disappearing off the face of the earth. My cellphone charger has been lost, and I _really_ need to get around to buying a new one. (They charge $40 for new ones, so it's The Principle Of The Thing (tm) that's been deterring the purchase. What a ripoff!)

So it's been a month in Baltimore, now, and life has mostly managed to stay together at the seams. Living in a temporary apartment. Getting up in the morning for work. Eating a ton of take-out food. Occasionally wandering these downtown streets, marveling at how different people are out here. And how MANY people there are.

And the highways! There are so many cars, and they move fast.

Yes, I'm a bit shellshocked by life, and its new developments. I remember moving to Indiana from Sacramento, 3 years ago, and how long it took to adjust to that. You tend to forget these things, until you re-experience them--and then you think, "oh yeah, that wasn't so easy, was it?"

So, it'll take time to get used to Baltimore, my new home. HAVING a new home will help--as in, a permanent apartment. V and I will be living in this temporary place about 3-4 more weeks. We're in limbo, waiting to get most of our belongings moved in with us, in a place we actually LIKE, rather than a too-small beige-carpeted 12th floor downtown place.

But I can't really complain. My job has provided for our relocation admirably well. It's just this time of transition that's hard. Moving is a pain in the ass...and relocating to another part of the country is just plain scary. But we do it anyway.

I gotta go. V and I are going to break our streak of not going out to the club on Friday night by, well, going out to the club on Friday night. So I must get dressed. Tonight I'll break-in my new leather pants. :)

Once there was a way
To get back homeward
Once there was a way
To get back home
Sleep pretty darling, do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

So I'm going to be moving out soon (still don't know when). I have a fair amount of furniture and stuff I need to give away now, much of it pretty decent. Here's a partial list of stuff. Let me know in comments if you might want something--or call me, email me, etc.

desk - really nice!
rolling desk chair - very nice, though one arm needs a small repair
armoire
bedside table
end tables
plant stand
fishtank w/hood - 3.0'x1.5'x1.0'
fishtank stand, w/cabinet
GIGANTIC antique armoire
dog travel crate, pretty big
bureau, with optional mirror (cracked)
big blue couch

So I had a thought, as staysonpaper and I headed over to Goodwill. Why do they always give city streets the same boring names? Lincoln Street, Washington Boulevard, New York Avenue, Pine Court... Come on, city planners! How about "Ooga Booga triangle"?--at least something different, if not exactly interesting.

Then I hit upon my MILLION DOLLAR IDEA, which I'm determined to see done, within my lifetime. I'll build a town--nay, a city--in which each street name is a street type. For instance, Street Rd, Lane Pkwy, Place Blvd, Alley Ave, Circle Dr...etc.

And the complement of each street must also exist. So if there's a Plaza Pike, there must also be a Pike Plaza. Then we'd have symmetry, you see! Giving directions would be so much fun.

So how many streets could this city have? Let's see...we have these street types: street, avenue, boulevard, parkway, court, drive, place, plaza, circle, lane, alley, pike, road, way... That'll do for now. That's fourteen. We have a maximum of P(14,2)=182 unique city streets. Of course, it would be difficult to plan a city with 13 different circles. I'd say 3, at the most. That leaves 172--a goodly number. Maybe not enough for a whole city; but enough for the center of town, anyway, and that's the most important part.

Almost as much fun: give each street a number, and randomize them. So 12th street is right next to 72nd street--which is, of course, right next to 33rd. And how about negative numbers! Or fractions! Square roots! The possibilities are endless.

Too merciless? Fine, how about this: we number the North-South streets with real numbers, and the East-West streets with imaginary numbers. Then each block is a point on the complex plane. When someone asks where you live, you could just tell them, "-16 + 40i". It's clear, it's concise...and in order to get around, you simply have to learn complex arithmetic! It's free education!

If we build that town, though, we'd have to make a network of parks in the center, shaped like the Mandelbrot Set. That would look pretty sweet on Google Maps.

While googling my name for a piece of resume info, I found the transcript of my recent "blogger" WISH-TV interview.

As LJ is the only thing I could remotely claim as a blog, you all can appreciate the irony that they chose to interview me as a blogger.

But according to the interview, I have "a few" blogs. Well then. I had better get on that. Anyway, I found it funny, what they chose to quote me on. I wish I'd seen the actual news piece.

I came across this guide to the home-preparation of smoked bacon. As DJ Baconpunk, it's time for me to earn some baconpunk cred, and post the delicious recipe. styossarian, this one's for you!

http://www.bsbrewing.com/blog/?p=261&

Much love to everyone who attended Mutiny last night. I spun from 10:30 to 11:30, and had a blast. The turnout was excellent. Things are looking up, for us Naptown folk.

Did anyone else notice that random old couple, doing their old-people dance? That was the cutest thing ever. The man kept looking around and winking at people--not licentious, sort of cagey. Very nice. They were dancing to Skinny Puppy and Nine Inch Nails! That alone shows the the song-selecting prowise of myarsenalx; always a crowd pleaser.

So I have been a bad blogger, and not posted my plans and activities for awhile. Shame on me. I will try to improve that henceforth.

Anyway, here is to announce: I'll be spinning at the next Axis of Evil, from 9 to 10 PM. DJ Aqua Regia, that's me.

The Glory! The Excitement! The Stunned Silence!

Not to mention the dancing, the mild intoxication, and the booty-licious booty, to be found at each and every AoE. Come one, come all!

Yesterday staysonpaper and I were machinating evil schemes at Corner Coffee, when suddenly a television reporter accosted us. She proceeded to interrogate me:

"Do you have a blog?" Uh, I guess so. It's not much...
"Are you a student?" No, I work.
"What kind of company do you work for?"

...etc. Being a sucker for attention, I let her interview me for some News 8 segment they should air in a couple weeks--asking the question: "Blogging: Should Employers Ban Employees Talking About Them?" That seems to be News 8's tempest-in-a-teapot du jour. I thought it was kind of cute. After all, it touches on free speech issues--so it's not _totally_ pointless, eh?

The woman had me sitting in front of the computer, showing my blog (puny as it is). I managed to give props to carpe_jugulum--her fabulous photography and custom hairpieces.

Yet regrettably, I did not squeeze in mention of staysonpaper's artworks, since they weren't right in front of me. And unfair it was--as she wrangled me into this LJ tomfoolery in the first place, and blogs more than I do, at that.

Take a peek, if you dare, at her realm of sterling madness: Eldritch Horrors, LTD. Tentacled silver creations lurk in the depths! Egad! What fiendish sorcery hath wrought these objects? Behold ye, vortical mysteries that none can fathom.

So there's my "15 minutes"! Though it'll likely be 15 seconds, after they cut it.

Many thanks to DJs Sarah Vain and Greg Cambell, for making possible Open Tables night at the Burbon Street Distillery! Special thanks to Greg for providing the equipment: a bitchin' mixer, turntables, CD players and PA.

On Sundays, anyone can come by and play a set--just bring music, and your own sweet self! (And friends, if possible.)

I played my first set EVAR on Sunday. Though by no means professional, it was still well received. Of course it probably helped that my friends made up half the audience. :)

Greg's equipment was amazingly easy to use. At this rate, I'll be a pro in no time! Yah, right. But I'll be back next week anyway. Practice makes perfect!

Damn. So yeah. I've had a very busy week. Went to New Orleans on Tuesday, and stayed until Sunday afternoon!

Work conference. Getting up early, attending many LONG presentations. I can't believe how many actuaries talk in monotone voices. WTF? How do you expect us to stay awake through "Data Sources and Methods", blah blah blah? I think maybe they're self-conscious, and wish they could just disappear. I've been there, man.

So, a busy schedule. Much mixing and mingling. Bourbon Street was an experience. Went to Fat Cats and a couple other bars, saw some great local jazz bands. To think, you can find acts like that playing every night in the Quarter.

So hmm. Up late + up early = UP UP! Not much sleep. Yes much coffee. And much alcohol. My body got used to it quickly, I was amazed. One wonders how long the body can handle that.

So let me get to the highlight of the trip. It seems almost weird to call it the highlight, but it definitely was. About 20 of us stayed the weekend to do volunteer work in the Ninth Ward, a badly damaged area. I got to know these voluneers much better! They were very friendly. It was encouraging to have real conversations with some company people.

There was this temporary center, the "cafe", where volunteers prepared 3 meals a day for the locals, and provided a shower and a place to hang out.



It was interesting to talk to volunteers that had come by themselves, and were staying there for a while, as well as the locals hanging out. Get some of the back story, and get people's perspectives on life, etc. One local guy was a riot--asking questions like: If you had two children--a son and a daughter--and you had to send one of them to war, which one would you send? And he gave some old testament quote--roughly, "world, I give thee my greatest gift--man."

So apart from some chit chat, we mainly worked on projects. Two students who were staying all week, Stefanie and Erica, wanted to go remove a dog carcass from the street. So I offered to go help them. Oh shit! Just be thankful I don't have any pictures of it. The thing was lying on the curb. The smell was bad. The remains weighed 20 or 30 pounds. We got it into a thick plastic bag, and as I was carrying it, one of the rib bones punctured through the bag. (Don't worry, it didn't touch me.) So we double-bagged it, and continued back. Luckily there was a dumpster on the way back, to put it in. I would've felt bad about throwing it on one of those debris piles. Like, who wants a bag o' dog in front of their house?

Yeah. Enough about the dead dog. His name was Fido. Just kidding. Moving on.




The markings indicate when the house was searched, and by whom, and if any dead people or pets were found at the time. Most of the weekend's work was to remove rubble and debris from flood-damaged houses. I can't even describe how much stuff. A shit ton of stuff. The following picture shows me and some others, clearing out a second story room of an apartment building. This was taken after we removed the mattress, furniture, etc. Notice, it's all still wet.



And here's me dumping stuff off the roof. Sorry none of these pictures are cropped.




And here's the pile of debris from the various rooms. It grew quite a bit larger, by the time we were done.



So. That was my weekend. It was good. I think this was my first time volunteering for anything. But I'll surely volunteer for something again. Even apart from the "doing good" aspect. The work, the talking, the whole experience had good effects on me.

Later!

I made some real progress on guitar today! This Jamie Andreas book is really helping.

I've been playing for years, but little did I know, I never learned to do some basic things right. Like, how to pick. I mean, I've been picking--but all this time, I haven't been doing it quite the same way each time, so my muscles never learned a consistent pattern. So I had trouble being accurate & fast.

I'm already improving. I think I'm going to improve a lot! And my 4 track's coming in a couple days. Rock.

I stole this quote from the profile of ambyguity.

Nelson Mandela:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate;
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I swear to God, the elves are playing tricks on me.

So I wake up this morning. The sun's shining brightly through the windows--that means I'm late. I look at the alarm clock, and I am indeed late. But get this--the alarm is set, and it's set to the correct time! Volume, check. AM, check, "Alarm 1"--check. What else is there??

Alarm clocks are not complex machines. What could go wrong?

Do I need a new alarm clock? A new brain? No, I think I need a new Spacetime Continuum; clearly there must've been some Temporal Disturbance, that swallowed the alarm clock for that brief second it was supposed to go off.


If the elves can disrupt the spacetime continuum now, I'm really in trouble.

Me: "Hey Paul, you've got a big smudge of something on your forehead. It looks like laser toner or something."
Paul: It's Ash Wednesday today. It's a religious observance.
Me: Oh.

So I'm in the lobby waiting for the elevator, not paying attention, singing a Tori Amos song...y'know, like ya do. So the door opens and the girl inside hears, "...when you gonna love you as much as I do...". Oh hello, I didn't see you there. Heh heh.

This is a crisis I knew had to come,
Destroying the balance I'd kept.
Doubting, unsettling and turning around,
Wondering what will come next.

Snarf.

Another successful week. Survival accomplished. My organism may even live to see another breeding cycle. W00t!

Saw the movie The Decameron last night. Cracks me up. I'll take the job at the convent, if you please.

So it seems I have one more friend in Indy than I thought. One who would kill, or die for me. That's serious!